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Chapter 2: Garment Storage

Chapter Summary:

Husktops explode. Memos begin. Sollux starts to figure things out.




You would say you saw this coming, but embarrassingly enough, you really didn't. Some part of you was still being stupidly hopeful, and now you're stuck. In a winter garment storage. With your former friend, who is now an amnesiac or something dumb like that.

You'd like to think he let you in because he recognized you. Or at least, that would be a start.

"What do you mean?" you snarl back. "I came to find my friend. You."

"M-hmm. Thhhhure you did." You flinch at the spray of spittle, and he glares at you again. More than before, at least. You return the favor. "Yes, dumbass! We're. Fucking. Friends."

"I don't remember ever fucking you," Sollux snarks. You growl at him, and he continues.

"I, for one, haven't the thlightetht fucking idea what you're talking about," he tells you. "But I do know one thing, and it'th that anyone who wearth a heretical thymbol in plain thight hath got to be either crathy, dumb, or have a very good reathon behind it." At those words, any hope of him remembering you is flung screaming from the metaphorical window, flailing and breaking its skull on the unforgiving walkway material below.

Sollux shoves you again, and holds you tight against the wall with a bright crackle of light. The dancing sparks illuminate his face with eerie shadows in the dark space, and he grins.

"Tho. Which one ith it?"

You groan. "The last one. It's my symbol. Which you don't remember."

"Wait, what?" He looks puzzled, then smirks. "Pleathe do not tell me you're going to thtart on thome random conthpirathy theory here. Not that they're all total musclebeast sthit, but I get enough of that from my neighborth."

"It's complicated." You mentally scramble for a way to explain in anything resembling a timely fashion. You thinkpan, as usual, is as ornery as you are and refuses to comply.

"I..." You try to say something, but it doesn't quite come out. "I... It's a long story. I was the guy who tried to contact you, by the way. Carcinogeneticist? Yeah, I probably should've lead with that. Past me is a dumbass, news at eleven."

"Well then?" He looks at you expectantly.

"You're actually going to hear me out?"

Your eyes have adjusted enough to the dim light to catch a shrug from him. "Not if you keep athking dumb quethtionth, but yeah. I kinda want to thee how far thith bullsthit thpiel ith gonna go."

Bullshit spiel? You'll show him whose spiel is bullshit! You force down a rising stream of complaints and insults, though, and eventually manage to speak without screaming. For now.

"Okay, okay," you rasp. "I... fine. Long story short, we played this big shitty game. And you kinda died a couple times -- well, we all did, but we came back because of bullshit game mechanics and stuff. We had this mess with a bunch of weird pan-damaged aliens and created a universe, and after whole bunch of annoying fuckups with the gall to call themselves adventures, I'm fairly sure we won. Except something went wrong -- again. And the prize -- well, if the game was shitty, then the prize was the even shittier little preserved arboreal fruit sitting all sacchharine and terrible-tasting on top."

You pause to gesture to the two of you. "This was the result. We reset to pre-game conditions, and aged up a bunch. Well, half a sweep. Technically two sweeps, but we already spent a sweep and a half in game, so..."

A snicker interrupts your explanation. You glance back at Sollux to see him hiding a hideously toothy grin. "Oh, don't you even start. I am not lowering myself to your degenerate sense of humor. This is not a fucking 'laughing matter', do you hear me?"

"You thure you're not a cultitht or thomething?"

Ugh.

"I told you, it's a long fucking story."

"Yeah, yeah."


======


trolling :: twinArmageddons

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: HEY

CG: CAPTOR

CG: ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

CG: HELLO?

CG: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, ANSWER ME YOU INCOMPETENT JAR OF MOULDY GRUB SHIT.

TA: holy 2hiit

CG: OH THANK GOD

CG: LISTEN

TA: what do we have here?

CG: LOOK, IT'S ME. COME ON.

TA: an amateur cyber2talker appeared!

CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THIS WITH YOU.

TA: wow fuck off

CG: NO, I WILL NOT FUCK OFF!

CG: WHAT THE HELL?

CG: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, OR ARE YOU JUST SHITTING ME FOR NO GOOD REASON HERE?

CG: I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED BY THE LATTER IN THE SLIGHTEST.

TA: "oop2"

twinArmageddons [TA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG]

trolling :: twinArmageddons

carcinoGeneticist2 [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO.

CG: I'VE BEEN FORCE TO RESORT TO A FUCKING ALT ACCOUNT.

CG: OH, THE TRAGEDY.

CG: ...

CG: THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME PAUSING FOR TERRIBLY-PERFORMED DRAMATIC EFFECT.

CG: .....

CG: .......

CG: WOULD YOU JUST RESPOND AND TELL ME IF YOU'RE OKAY?

CG: I

CG: SERIOUSLY

CG: I'M SORRY ABOUT THE INSULTS

CG: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T CARE

CG: JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER FOR ONCE...

CG:

CG: ...YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF INSECTOID EXCREMENT!

CG: HELLO?

twinArmageddons [TA] uploaded file stalkerbait.~ath

CG: OH FUCK ME

carcinoGeneticist [CG] 's husktop has exploded

TA: ehehe

You got kicked off the group transportation buggy after your husktop detonated in the aisle, startling several other passengers and, in the words of the driver, "Jusst causssing a great deal of unnesssesssary trouble."

Nobody present had any doubt the husktop was yours, mostly because you'd thrown it on the floor in with a loud screech of terror shortly before the explosion. It was only a short walk to Sollux's hive, but as you walked you pulled out your backup crabtop (it seemed even alt-Karkat appreciated Jade's wisdom about multiple devices) and began pestering Terezi.

trolling :: gallowsCalibrator

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: TEREZI

CG: WE MAY HAVE A PROBLEM.

GC: WH4T?

CG: ONLY THAT SOLLUX IS BEING A COY, OBTUSE FUCK TODAY, AND JUST BLEW UP MY HUSKTOP.

GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU M3SS4G1NG M3 ON TH3N?

CG: BACKUP.

CG: IT MIGHT NOT BE MUCH, BUT I GUESS OTHER KARKAT WAS SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO KEEP AT LEAST ONE CRABTOP IN HIS POCKETS AT ALL TIMES.

CG: I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF HE LEFT ANY OTHER BACKUP DEVICES, BUT ONE IS GOOD, RIGHT?

GC: OK4Y

GC: NON3 OF TH4T 1S P4RT1CUL4RLY SUPR1S1NG

GC: 1'V3 B33N CORR3SPOND1NG W1TH K4N4Y4 FOR TH3 L4ST F3W M1NUT3S NOW, 4ND SH3 R3M3MB3RS, TOO.

GC: 1T F33LS L1K3 4 P4TT3RN.

GC: 4LL TH3 P3OPL3 WHO DON'T R3M3MB3R W3R3 D34D

CG: WAIT, WHAT?

CG: BUT WHAT ABOUT VRISKA?

GC: W3LL

GC: SH3 W4SN'T T3CHN1C4LLY D34D

GC: OR 4T L34ST NOT BY SGRUB'S ST4ND4RDS

GC: BUT R3M3MB3R TH3 WHOL3 R3TCON TH1NG?

CG: YOU MEAN THE PART WHERE JOHN DIED AND THEN CAME BACK OUT OF BUTTFUCK NOWHERE-LAND TO FIX EVERYTHING?

GC: Y34H, TH4T.

GC: OUR VR1SK4 W4S 4L1V3, BUT PR3-R3TCON VR1SK4 D13D.

GC: M4YB3, B3C4US3 SH3 T3CHN1C4LLY D13D 1N TH3 OLD T1M3L1N3, SH3'S B31NG COUNT3D 4S P4RT14LLY D34D OR SOM3TH1NG FOR TH3 PURPOS3S OF TH1S 3ND1NG.

CG: YEAH. MAYBE?

CG: LIKE ANY OF US UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

CG: I MEAN, WHAT'S EVEN WITH ALL THIS?

CG: TALK ABOUT A SHITTY TWIST.

GC: PL34S3, DON'T 3V3N ST4RT.

CG: SO

CG: WHAT WAS GOING ON EARLIER?

CG: WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD TO GO, AND ALL THAT?

GC: K4N4Y4

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'KANAYA'?

GC: 1'LL 3XPL41N L4T3R.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: WAIT

CG: BUT

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN!?


======


"You've gone into a lot of detail for thuch a ridiculouth thtory," Sollux comments.

You've spent the past few minutes rambling, but you think he's gotten the gist of it by now. The game, knowing each other, shitty twist, yadda yadda yadda, someone-please-cull-me-before-I-make-even-more-of-a-fool-of-myself, blah blah blah. He seems skeptic at best, but that's just what you've seen. Maybe it's just your own pan-addling sentimentality talking, but there's a funny look to him, a little glint of recognition when you give names and details. The biggest moment was when you mentioned Aradia, and he paused for half a second in startled silence, eyes flickering. He didn't say anything, though.

"Alright, you know what?" you rasp. "I don't give that many shits right now. A couple, since you're my friend -- or were, I guess -- but we have stuff to do. You're coming with me, whether you remember or not."

"And what ekthactly do you plan to do to about it?" He looks amused more than anything.

"I plan to take you the fuck with me!"

"Wow, puthhy."

"Deal with it."

"How can I pooothhibly cope?" He almost smiles, then hastily restores his look of deadpan frustration. You feel a glimmer of unrequited hope nonetheless. You might be getting through to him after all.

Sollux starts to make a better comeback when the telltale ping of a trollian alert breaks up the conversation. He pulls a beetlephone from his pocket, fumbling in the dark and cursing under his breath. He hold the device in one hand, then sets it down in midair, letting it float in an aura of pulsing red-blue light. You can't read the screen from your side of the garment storage, but the text looks like a memo. The two primary colors, dark jade green and bright teal, flood the screen with illegible words.

Several minutes pass in silence. With little way to keep track of the time, you guess it takes around five minutes for him to remember you're still there.

He looks at you differently now.

"Well," he mutters. "Fuck."


======


memo :: 4KW4RD POST-G4ME R3UN1ONS

gallowsCalibrator [GC] opened a memo on board 4WKW4RD POST-G4M3 R3UN1ONS

GC: 4LR1GHT

GC: W3 N33D TO T4LK

GC: W3 4LL N33D TO T4LK

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined the memo

GA: Yes

GA: If Anyone Else Out There Remembers The Events Of The Game Their Contributions To This Discussion Would Be Very Much Appreciated

GA: Terezi

GA: Do You Know If There Is Any Way To Invite Specific People To Participate In Memos

GA: And If So Do You Think That Would Be A Good Idea

GA: Assuming That The Others Have Kept Their Existing Chat Handles I Mean

GC: 1 TH1NK SO

GC: L3T M3 CH3CK

GA: Good

GA: In The Meantime I Was Wondering What Exactly Should Be Discussed Here

GA: I Mean

GA: I Suppose We Could

GA: Compare Notes Or Some Such Activity

GA: As One Does When Faced With Mass Phenomena Of This Sort

GA: Does One Do That Actually

GA: Im Not Sure But A Fair Number Of Films And The Like Often Portray Their Protagonists Doing No Such Thing

GA: Instead They Tend To Simply Act

GA: With Minimal Discussion Or Comparison Involved

GA: This Seems Impractical Though

GA: Terezi

GA: Terezi

GA: I Am Tempted To Add A Few Bafflement Curlicues After Your Name But Am Not Sure If The Situation Yet Calls For It

GC: WHOOPS

GA: Oh Thank Goodness

GA: I Was Beginning To Wonder What Had Happened To You

GC: 1 GU3SS 1T TOOK 4 WH1L3 TO F1ND TH3 1NV1T4T1ON TUTOR14L

GC: TO B3 HON3ST 1 W4S H4LF 3XP3CT1NG SOM3 P4ST OR FUTUR3 S3LF TO COM3 G1V3 4DV1C3

GC: NOT TH4T TH4T'S 3V3R H4PP3N3D 1N 4NY M3MOS 1 KNOW OF S1NC3 TH3 G4M3 3ND3D

GA: Actually Come To Think Of It I Havent Seen The Trans Timeline Function Appear At All Either

GA: Perhaps This Version Doesnt Have It

GC: M4YB3?

GC: 1T STOPP3D SP3C1FY1NG P4ST/CURR3NT/ FUTUR3 V3RS1ONS, SO PROB4BLY.

GA: Anyway

GA: About The Invitations

GC: R1GHT

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited apocalypseArisen [AA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited arachnidsGrip [AG] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited terminallyCapricious [TC] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC]invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] to the memo

GC: SP34K1NG OF THOS3 L4ST TWO, 1 WOND3R HOW K4RK4T'S DO1NG?

GA: Alright I Hope

GA: What Do You Mean Those Two

GC: 1 S3NT K4RK4T TO CH3CK UP ON SOLLUX.

GA: To See If He Remembered You Mean

GC: Y34H

GC: TH3 DOUBL3 D34TH TH1NG 1S K1ND OF 4 W1LD C4RD W1TH MY TH3ORY.

GC: 4LSO, 1F H3 DO3S R3M3MB3R, W3'R3 PROB4BLY ONLY F1ND1NG OUT 1N P3RSON.

GC: H3 K33PS BLOCK1NG M3. >:[

GC: 4NYW4Y, NOW W3 JUST H4V3 TO W41T FOR TH3M TO SHOW UP.

GA: Arent You Missing Someone

GA: Well Actually Several Someones

GC: WHO?

GA: You Know

GA: Everyone Else

GC: 1 DON'T TH1NK TH3Y R3M3MB3R

GA: Have You Contacted All Of Them To Check

GC: MOST OF TH3M

GA: Only Most Of Them

GA: Is This Related To Your Theory

GC: TH3R3'S 4 P4TT3RN

GC: 1 TH1NK

GA: You Think

GC: UGH, WH4T TH3 H3CK.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited adiosToreador [AT] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited centaursTesticle [CT] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to the memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to the memo

GC: TH3R3.

twinArmageddons [TA] joined the memo

TA: okay what the fuck ii2 goiing on here

GA: Oh Hello There

GC: H1 SOLLUX

GC: LOOKS L1K3 YOU'V3 D3C1D3D TO JO1N US 4FT3R 4LL

TA: what no

TA: look iim only re2pondiing becau2e ii want two know what the hell thii2 ii2

GC: W3LL, 1N C4S3 YOU COULDN'T WORK 1T OUT...

GC: 1S K4RKL3S W1TH YOU Y3T?

TA: who

GC: K4RK4T

GC: SHORT, NUBBY HORNS, SHOUTS 4 LOT?

TA: you mean the guy who ju2t triied to get iinto my hiive2tem wiith a forbiiden 2ymbol on hii2 2hiirt iin plaiin 2iight?

GC: Y3P! TH4T'S TH3 ON3.

TA: okay

TA: ye2 he2 here

TA: meaniing?

GC: DO YOU R3M3MB3R OR NOT?

TA: what the fuck ii2 iit wiith you people and 'rememberiing'

TA: what do you even mean

GC: K4RK4T 3XPL41N3D, D1DN'T H3?

TA: you have got to be fuckiing kiiddiing me

TA: very funny

TA: you got me wiith your overly elaborate prank

TA: now go home

GC: NO, 1T'S NOT 4 PR4NK.

GC: JUST TH1NK 4BOUT 1T.

GC: W4SN'T WH4T K4RK4T S41D 4T L34ST SOM3WH4T F4M1L14R?

GC: 3V3N 1F 1T W4S ON SOM3 D33P3R L3V3L YOU COULDN'T QU1T3 M4K3 S3NS3 OF?

GC: YOU W3R3 ONLY H4LF D34D 4FT3R 4LL!

apocalypseArisen [AA] has joined the memo

AA: hi everyone

AA: sorry i was out for a while

GA: Hello To You As Well

AA: hi kanaya!

AA: i only just caught up with all this

AA: not everyone remembers or something?

GC: PR3TTY MUCH.

AA: okay

AA: oh hi sollux

AA: nice to see you remember at least

AA: well, i hope you do anyway

AA: <>

TA: <>

TA: waiit...

TA: what

TA: the

TA: 2HIIT


======


Sollux unlocks the closet and stands in the hallway, looked you over in uncomfortable silence. After a moment, he groans and puts his face in his hands. "Right," he says, mostly to himself. "I know you. Or I'm supposed to." You aren't sure what to say in response, so you just nod.

He looks back to you. "Karkat, huh?" You nod again. It may have only been a few seconds, but you are growing incredibly fucking sick of uncomfortable silence and nods.

You glance over to the table. It looks like the meal is over, but there are still a few plates of warm leftovers. Sollux seems to catch on and gestures to the table.

"You hungry?" he asks.

You wonder when Past Karkat last ate. "Yeah," you answer. "Sure."

It's the best grubsauce-and-noodles you've had in a while -- and probably the first non-alchemized meal you've eaten in years. The sauce is creamy and meaty all at once, and the noodles are actually tender, as if someone has bothered to properly cook them for the full cook time on the box rather than the usual half-assed couple of minutes on full heat.

You eat close to two portions, but Sollux stops you from taking any more, sending a meaningful look to the few trolls hanging about. When you ask him why he even cares, he shrugs and mumbles something about disgruntled cooks. He doesn't really enforce it, though -- he's too busy keeping up with the memo while you eat.

You find yourself jolted from your delicious reverie when Sollux looks up from his beetlephone and curses loudly.

"What the hell is it?" you demand.

He mutters a few more choice words, then clarifies. "Some blueblood asshole."

You set down your eating implements and look over his shoulder. "Let me see."

"Get your own damn husktop."

"Fine."


======


memo :: 4WKW4RD POST-G4M3 R3UN1ONS

arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo

AG: Heeeeeeeey........

AG: Would you look at this!

AG: What do we have here?