Fandom: Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen
Length: 3k
Tags: Red | Protagonist Blue | Rival Various Pokemon "Epistolary" Glitches Character Death Bleaker than a joke fic probably should be

Mt. Moon

[The following series of recordings was found on a small portable audio recorder by a Pokemon Ranger near Mt. Moon. It is unknown when it was recorded, but the device was fairly old and damaged. It appears to have been the diary of a young trainer, though many sections are missing, and has yet to be accurately identified.

Whether the story was truth or fiction is also unknown. Mt. Moon has been off-limits to trainers for years, and many have claimed these records to be fakes, but some also claim the circumstances match up with the disappearance of a young trainer in the area after being sent off on a journey for a local Professor.

In the end, though, the truth is for the recordings' original creator to know, and us to guess at.]
This originally started as a documentation/journal of an actual Leafgreen playthrough. Then I got bored and stopped actually keeping track of the game. And then I got ideas, and uh... this happened.

I do not love this fic enough to fix the formatting. You have my vague condolences.

Day 1

Got up, wandered around. That's one of the problems of small-town life: there's practically nothing to do. Remembered I was going to be a Pokemon trainer because reasons and went off into the tall grass to find Prof. Oak. He promptly scolded me for not bringing a Pokemon of my own, because, y'know, I wasn't supposed to get my first Pokemon from him or anything...

I swear his memory's going faster than he'd like to admit, because earlier he couldn't remember if I was a boy or a girl (BOY!) and forgot his own grandson's name. I almost wanted to say "Poophead" or something like that just to see if he'd believe me, but he remembered it was Fyre. Oh well.

I later decided that Poophead might have even been a better name than Fyre, which leads to the first rule in this record:

1. No matter what, these recordings shall from now unto eternity refer to the boy - formerly known as "Fyre" - as "Poophead."

Poophead is more accurate, in my opinion.

Went to Oak's lab, picked up an adorable turtle pokemon - a water-type called Squirtle- and somehow crushed Poophead in my battle with his Bulbasaur, even though Grass beats Water. These Pokemon are pretty new to fighting, so the most they could really do was scratch each other up a bit. Squirtle's still faster.

Upon winning, I felt the strange urge to shout "Neener neener bleah", but didn't.

I'm heading out into the tall grass tomorrow, I think. Squirtle (I nicknamed him Berry, for his color) is exhausted and I need a rest too.

Day 2

Headed out to Route 1, after stopping by and taking Poophead's map. Sucker. Crashed into at least a dozen little scratchy birds, and manage to down all of them. Then there were some purple rats - Rattatas, I think they're called - and after wading through WAAAAY too much grass Berry finally figured out how to squirt. You think that's something he'd know to begin with, but apparently it takes some practice. And some spraying your trainer in the face with bubbly water for shouting "Finally!" when it happens.

I'm finally in Viridian City, where I managed to patch up Berry and wandered around a bit. Some old guy who needs coffee wouldn't move off the road, so I can't get much farther. I'd step over him, but this girl keeps dragging me away, saying to come back later.

No sign of Poophead so far. I'm not sure if that means he's ahead of me, or if he's stuck in the tall grass somewhere and I just didn't see him.

Wonder if he paid that guy to be a crappy roadblock.

Day 3

Tried to visit the store, only to have a random package for the professor shoved in my face. I have no idea why the shopkeeper gave it to me in particular, but now she won't sell me anything, and I'm kind of stuck.

Either Poophead's still in the tall grass, or he skipped town completely. I think she would rather have handed that package off to him than me.

Headed back to Pallet town, figuring I may as well deliver it, only to find that Poophead was already there in the lab. So maybe he didn't go anywhere? Did I just miss something?

On the upside, I now have: an obnoxious, red, unfinished encyclopedia; five "balls" (can't stop snickering at that) to catch wild pokemon in, and one rival off to the next town.

I've gotta catch up.

Heading to Viridian Forest tomorrow. Grumpy Coffee Guy had better be ready.

Day 4

Apparently that guy finally got his coffee, so I can get through now. Or at least, he's not lying in the middle of the road to keep random kids from walking past. Only one little problem.

The forest is a friggin' maze.

The first thing I ended up doing was actually heading back to Route 1 and catching a purple rat (forgot what I called it) and one of the scratchy birds (Squawk.) Neither seem particularly useful, so I left them in the PC at the Pokecenter. I figure since everyone can use it, it's sort of like a lost-and-found, so someone should find them and give them a home. I hope.

Once I worked up the courage to reenter the woods, I wound up getting stung by at least a dozen different stupid worms. Going by the encyclopedia Oak gave me, they're called "Weedles." I'm pretty sure he just made up the name at random though. I'm telling you, those little things are EVIL.

Berry hasn't fared much better - one of them actually poisoned him, and I had to hurry back to a Pokecenter before it could get much worse.

Truth be told, I'm a little scared to go check the shop again, in case the shopkeeper shoves another package in my face.

I've now caught one Weedle with my... er... "balls." Currently searching for a much nicer pokemon called a Caterpie, since they aren't nearly as likely to say, spit toxins in my face. All I can find, it seems, are their hardened chrysalises and a bunch of walking Weedle cocoons. Not much for battling, but at least it gave Berry a bit more practice with water attacks. He can actually make a full-on water gun now, which is pretty darn cool.

No idea where Poophead is.

Day 5

No Caterpies whatsoever. I'm starting to hate this forest.

Went back to Route 1 to train. Turns out there was a lady with free potions I somehow missed, so I got one from her. Also checked the store, which runs normally now, and got waaay more pokeballs than I could ever possibly need at this point. At least eight.

Wandered all I could. Five days, and I'm already sick of this.

Weedles are the most evil creatures in Kanto.

Day 6

The sweet goddess of pokemon capturing has smiled upon me today. A battle-ready Caterpie (whom I now call Changeling, because reasons again) appeared before me in the tall grass! I'm currently trying to help it catch up to Berry in experience... there's a pretty big gap, though.

Wandering through the forest sucks, especially when it feels like the very grass wants to murder you. And you keep going in circles. And, when Berry is badly poisoned and you're trying to trek through to the other side in hopes of finding a Pokecenter, some random guy with a butterfly net decides now is a good time for a "friendly" trainer battle.

Poophead still hasn't popped up, but who cares. Maybe he got stung by a Weedle.

Still lost in the maze of grass and trees, but I've managed to avoid most of the other trainers. I've found that if I stay out of their line of sight, they won't challenge me, so I might actually survive this.

Another bit of good news! Changeling evolved into a chrysalis-thing called a Metapod, which would normally be pretty useless (all the wild ones know how to do is harden up until you can barely make a dent) except she actually remembers how to tackle stuff and can still spin her string-webs to slow stuff down.

I don't think I would have had the patience to train a pokemon that can't even attack.

Day 7

Freedom at last! I finally found the exit (only one more "friendly" opponent, who I was able to defeat pretty quickly) and was able to enter Pewter City! I admit, there was a short route between the forest and the city, but no unavoidable tall grass, so all was well. I rested up a bit before getting the idea to challenge the local Gym Leader: some guy called Brock.

Near the exit to Viridian Forest, I also caught a new pokemon: a Pikachu. It seemed pretty rare, so I caught it right away.

Challenged the Gym Leader, and laughed out loud when I realized what the type-matchup was. The battles were pretty easy, and I gave the new Pikachu (Bolt) a chance to see some action by proxy. All in all, the fights went pretty smoothly.

But seriously, the look on Brock's face when Berry destroyed Onix in one hit and then evolved into a Wartortle was just priceless.

Day 8

Too busy to write; training. Wandered up the next route and entered Mt. Moon but have no idea where I'm going.

I also stand corrected: Weedles are not the most evil creatures in Kanto. Zubats are.

Day 9

Pokemaniacs are weird. More later.

Day 10

Found a Paras. Trained it. Too slow, let it go. Not sure why it had a mushroom though.

Bolt's already caught up most of the way to the others in strength.

Some weirdos calling themselves "Team Rocket" have been wandering the caves and trying to keep me out. They're a bunch of wimps, thought. At least fighting them evolved Changeling again: she's a Butterfree now, and can... move stuff with her mind. I find it a bit disorienting, so I've taken to calling it "Confusion".

On a similar note, Bolt has finally learned how to properly zap things instead of trying to paralyze them when she can already do it just through physical contact (Bolt does not get to sleep on my head anymore because of this.)

I should have kept the mushroom. I'm hungry...

Day 11

Still stuck in Mt. Moon. Have been leveling like crazy. No time to write. Zubats are still evil; Rockets are still nuts. I'm not even sure if there is a second exit anymore.

Day 13 (?)

It's been five days - I think - and I still have yet to find an exit. To top it off, I'm now completely and utterly lost. All the passages look the same, and those Team Rocket freaks are everywhere. I can hardly even do my business without running into one!

They don't seem to care about leaving this place, and they won't help me find the exit. Something tells me they're as lost as I am.

Day 15? 16?

We have a problem. After another three days (thanking all the Legendaries for Berry's water-producing abilities), I found my way back to where the entrance should be... and it's gone. There's nothing there. Just a wall of... space.

I don't know exactly how to describe it. It's just... not there. There's nothing there. No wall. No stone. No air. Just... empty space, all made up of blank squares and rectangles that hurt my brain when I try to make sense of them. I can't enter it, and I can't find the other way out.

I'm screwed. I've lost most of my gear fleeing Zubats, and barely have anything left. My bag is in tatters, and my clothes are dirty and torn to the point where I can't even tell what colors they used to be. Not that the darkness in here helps at all...

Day 20? 22?

Without outside light for this long, I don't even know what day it is. I've been here too long. Berry's water supply is starting to run out, I can't remember the last time I slept. We ate the last of the food I bought in Pewter city last night. At least, I think it was night.

The other trainers are still here. They haven't even moved from the spots where I first ran into them. They just stand there and stare. I tried talking to them, but they didn't respond at all, like I wasn't even there. I don't know what's going on anymore at all. The Zubats are still here, and frustrating as ever, and constantly attack us and chase us down the corridors of this natural labyrinth. It's like they're hunting us, the way they never give up and never stop, no matter how far we go to escape them. I've already been bitten several times now, and though the potions healed the bites pretty well, I worry about what I might catch from them.

I tried to head back to the Team Rocket wackos to see if I could talk to them, at least, but they're the same as the other trainers - silent, staring into the distance like statues or mannequins. They keep blocking my way, too.

I don't know what's behind them. They're like a human barricade - except much sturdier than any human barricade has the right to be. I still can't pass them, and even then, I can see nothing but darkness behind them. It looks like they're guarding a dead end, but why?

I'm scared.

Day 35? 36? 37?

Changeling fainted. We don't have any revives, so I can't wake her up. I'm not even sure if a revive would wake her up. She... isn't really responding to anything right now. We exhausted our supply of potions close to a week ago, I think, and I worry that Bolt might be next. The cursed Zubats just keep coming, and there's no sign of where they're from. They must have food and water somewhere, but where? Why haven't we found it by now? I'm not sure how much longer any of us will hold up like this.

The trainers have vanished completely. Gone. No trace. Even the Team Rocket folks are gone, and now I can see they were just guarding a dead end after all. There was no sign any of the trainers - Team Rocket or not - had ever been here, except for a pair of old grimy fossils left behind on one of the slopes. I picked them both up, because why not? They looked cool, but I can't do anything with them, so I left them in my bag. They aren't very heavy, anyway.

I barely have the energy to keep track of this mess anymore. It's been who-knows-how-long since anyone last ate, and the Zubats will attack us even in our sleep, so I've only been able to catch a moment or two with Berry guarding me. The pokemon are lucky. They get to sleep in their balls instead. Also, I think I just said that with a straight face.

I need to sleep, dammit.

Day 50-something? 60-something?

Berry evolved into his final form today. It was sort of a wake-up call as to just how long we've been here. He seems to have healed quite a bit now, and the Zubats almost never get a hit against him. With any luck, he can just keep going like this forever. At the very least, he can still provide water.

I'm not getting nostalgic about any of this. I can't afford to be distracted. Changeling hasn't woken up at all, even in her pokeball, and I don't think she ever will. She's not breathing anymore, and I... I think she might be dead.

I don't know what to do anymore. Bolt has fared well so far by sheer luck, but any Pokemon has limits, and I'm not even sure how much experience these guys are giving her. Not much, I think.

I have no idea how long ago I entered this cave, really. Was it weeks ago? Months? I've been growing used to this strange rhythm of cave life. Bolt can use her sparks to light smallish fires, and fried Zubat is actually not that bad once you get used to it. At the very least, it's food.

I found some puddles a while ago, and realized where the Zubats must have been getting their water. It just trickles down the side of the stone walls in places, and I haven't gotten sick from drinking it, so I guess it's all right.

Day 90 or so? 100?

I got rid of my Pokedex. There wasn't any point in keeping it - it was broken and had probably been soaked in the puddles one too many times, the casing was cracked and missing in places, and the screen had shattered into a spiderweb of little glass shards. It was completely useless, but I kept it because I thought that I might still need it, if I ever got out of here. But now I know that isn't happening.

It's been a long time since I've recorded anything here. I was busy. Very busy. Bolt and Berry are still both by my side, but one of the Zubats ripped the buttons off their pokeballs, and I lost the spares weeks ago, so they just wander on their own. It's not like they could go anywhere anyway.

I buried Changeling near what I used to think was the exit. I'm not sure why I picked there, but it just felt right. Technically, I couldn't take her out of the pokeball, but I could still bury the little sphere of useless plastic and pretend I was doing something useful. I know grown-ups outside used to say stuff about it being hard to let go, especially of someone you love, but it's been long enough. I was getting rid of the corpse. That was it.

Life here is pretty repetitive. I'm not sure what else to write - "Had fried Zubat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner today?" Or maybe, "Patrolled the caves a bunch and then did nothing?" Not much happens here anymore.

Day 200-something? It doesn't matter.

This is my final entry. After that, I'm discarding this device for good. I'm fairly sure it's waterproof, so I'm tossing it into the streams that lead out of here and praying it stays lost forever. I have no intention of returning, and I'm not even sure if I could bring myself to leave this place even if I did find a way out.

Sometimes I wonder if parts of the outside world ever existed at all. These days, it feels like it might have always just been nothing but the maze and the cave and the Zubats. I haven't seen another human since the trainers and Team Rocket guys vanished, and most of the possessions I dimly remember from elsewhere are broken and discarded or lost. I've memorized the patterns of these caves, all the best places to hunt Zubats, all the places where hidden streams of water dribble down the walls, and this place feels more like home than anything in memories.

These recordings are the only real proof I have that it was real. But I don't want to remember anymore.

I hope if anyone hears this, they'll take it as a warning not to come and find me.

I'm not leaving.